Mentor: A Soldier's Child
Mike Payne’s involvement with A Soldier’s Child (ASC) has taken us to a whole other level,” said the non-profit organization’s founder Daryl Mackie. “He is the best mentor I have ever had. He just pours it out into the kids. He is a survivor willing to share his survivor stories to help kids at risk. Demographically, kid’s whose parents have committed suicide are at most risk of committing suicide themselves. These are the kids he is serving.”
After Payne returned from his second tour of duty as a Marine in Iraq in 2008, he was given a medical discharge and he settled down in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, where he began a career in law enforcement. Then his military injuries caught up to him in December 2019.
“I will always love the Marine Corps,” said Payne, “and what service to my country has done for me. School wasn’t for me. I graduated high school May 2001, enlisted in the Marine Corps in July 2001 and boot camp started October 2001.”
But there is a price he paid. Physically, his time in the service tore his body down. Most days he is in pain. Plus, he feels that mentally human brains aren’t created to handle the things one is forced to see and deal with as a member of the military. Since his return, he has struggled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Payne says that he has written several suicide notes, but he always thought about his kids, which has kept him alive and moving forward. He is a loving, single father of three boys. One is in elementary school, another is in middle school and his oldest is in high school.
“Much as I love my boys, if not for finding Christ in 2021, I honestly wouldn’t be here answering your questions right now,” Payne calmly noted. “I stay in the world and pray for my healing every day.”
Then he found ASC, and he has been able to channel much of his pain and mental anguish into helping children who have lost a parent to war, or the fallout from it. He now works with many children through ASC camps whose parent committed suicide after returning from military service.
According to Suicide Prevention Resource Center, an average of 22 veterans die by suicide each day, but Payne says that the sad truth is that the number is far greater.
“PTSD is a hard topic for a lot of veterans,” explained Payne. “Everyone is different in how they deal with it. Most all go to alcohol or drugs to cover the pain. Of course, all that does is mask the problems and cause more depression. I resorted to heavy alcohol consumption and dealt with severe depression daily. But since finding Christ, I no longer drink or have major depression.”
Getting to be a part of ASC has been curative and gratifying for Payne. It has given him purpose.
“Losing a parent is hard on anyone, but it affects children more,” explains Payne. “As a mentor, I’m not there to replace or try to replace a parent lost. I’m there to share love with the kids left behind and give them tools to live a courageous life. The camps are healing for me as well. Just as the kids have faced trauma, I have faced trauma as well. My healing journey has been through Christ and me getting to share God’s word with the kids and to see them accepting Christ, the transformation in them is so rewarding and healing.”
ASC Foundation was founded in 2009 to celebrate the lives of children who had lost a military parent by celebrating the child’s birthday. In 2010, the organization started conducting various camps to bring together children with the similar experience of losing a military parent. The camps provide a safe place for these children to process their grief and confusion, and to make lifelong friendships with peers. These camps include their flagship, week-long Journey Camp designed to seek healing and lifelong friendships; Hunting and Fishing Camps; Songwriting Camps; Culinary Arts Camps; Photography Camps; Sports Camps; Horse Riding Camps; Citadel Adventure/Military History Camps and their PS23 Leadership Program which trains those 18 and older to be peer mentors to younger kids.
Prior to a Hunting and Fishing Camp several years ago, Payne asked the ASC staff if a specific family was enrolled with the organization. When ASC staff advised they were and asked why, Payne let them know he had served with their father and was even deployed with him. The father had committed suicide after completing his service.
“Without saying anything to me, the ASC staff had the boys attend a Turkey Hunt Camp I was going to be mentoring,” explained Payne. “I got to the camp and saw the boys. It was such an honor to mentor them for the weekend long hunt and share stories about their father they never heard. As the years have went by, I have got to spend more time at camps with them and share laughs. Now, they are young men doing amazing things. That is just so rewarding.”
The healing the children experience is done through the ASC camps. Mentors like Payne show the kids that they aren’t alone, let them talk about the trauma they have experienced and guide them to forgiveness.
Payne has mentored a child outside of the foundation’s camps. The boy has been with ASC for 14 years and he has become great friends with Payne’s sons, so he comes over to hang out at his house often. It has been a good experience for both the boy and his kids. They get to see and understand what their father has accomplished through his work with ASC.
Over the years, ASC Foundation has grown considerably. They now have more than 5,000 kids registered from across the country. They continue to celebrate kid’s birthdays, run the camps and they provide some school scholarships.
“The camps are the most healing for the kids because they get to be with their peers that have been through the same thing,” added Payne. “They also get to see they aren’t alone, have a group to support them along the way and they are able to honor their fallen loved one.”